Coming Out

From LGBTQIA

Coming out is the process in which an individual announces their sexual orientation, romantic orientation, gender identity, or another queer identity or experience to one or more individuals.[1]

Some reasons as to why an individual might come out include the following:

  • feeling overwhelmed with guilt from keeping a core aspect of their identity a secret;
  • feeling pressured to come out due to societal demands;
  • to destigmatize themselves and/or their identity;
  • to exercise pride, self love, courage, or similar.

While many individuals come out, not everyone does.

In the Closet

Closeted or in the closet is a term when someone has told very few or no individuals about their sexual orientation, romantic orientation, gender identity, or another queer identity or experience.[1]

Someone may be closeted around some individuals and not others. For example, if someone has told their friends about their sexuality or gender but not their parents, they would be out of the closet around their friends but closeted to their parents.

Some reasons someone might be closeted include the following:

  • safety, one may live or be socially involved with a queerphobic family, community, or a location where queerness is illegal or punishable in some way;
  • workplace discrimination, due to queer individuals having a higher chance of experiencing discrimination, harassment, or even the loss of their job;[2]
  • unsure about their identity/experience, someone might be sure they are queer in some way, but have not discovered a label for themselves or are unsure about what they experience;
  • fear of acceptance, they might fear that they will not be accepted by friends and family;
  • internalized queerphobia, someone might be in denial or against their own experience or identity, and due to this, remains closeted as to convince themselves it "can't be true" while knowing subconsciously that it is;
  • not wanting to share one's experience or identity with others, or feeling that it is not necessary to share to others.

Historically a closet was the private room of a building typically used for study or prayer. The metaphor of being in the closet directly correlates to the privacy of the closet, its isolation enforcing insufficient space, its safety and controllable nature, as well as its lack of functional amenities; all of which stating both the positive and negative aspects of being in the closet, as well as being out of it.[3]

Research states that those who come out in supportive environments often experience a boost in self esteem and mental health, whereas coming out in controlling or restrictive environments causes the opposite.[4]

Resources

  1. 1.0 1.1 Resnick, Ariane. "What Does It Mean to Be in the Closet?". Very Well Mind, 31 Jul, 2021, https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-in-the-closet-5192426.
  2. Sears, Brad. Mallory, Christy.. "Documented Evidence of Employment Discrimination & Its Effects on LGBT People". UCLA School of Law: Williams Institute, Jul, 2011, https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/employ-discrim-effect-lgbt-people/.
  3. Kushnick L., Hannah. "In the Closet: A Close Read of the Metaphor". AMA Journal of Ethics, Aug, 2010, https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/closet-close-read-metaphor/2010-08.
  4. Ryan, Richard M. Legate, Nicole. Weinstein, Netta.. "Is Coming Out Always a “Good Thing”? Exploring the Relations of Autonomy Support, Outness, and Wellness for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Individuals". SAGE Journals, 20 Jun, 2011, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550611411929?journalCode=sppa.