Lith (orientation)

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Lithromantic
Lithromantic.png

Orientation: Any
Prefix: Lith-
Main Umbrella: Aspec
GxG Format: ?x?

Attracted To: Unreciprocating individuals


Lith-, or Akoi-, is an a-spec orientation prefix that refers to individuals whose attraction fades when reciprocated, the term is from the Greek prefix 'lithos' meaning 'stone'.

Some lith individuals don't desire their attraction to be reciprocated, while others simply don't need it to be reciprocated.[1]

History

Lithromantic was coined by the mods of Tumblr blog lithromantic sometime before February 2012. One mod described its coining and etymology as deriving from the concept of Stone Butch lesbians.

"We looked at other terms for romantic and sexual orientations, and we noticed that most of them relied of latin or greek roots. So we went looking for a root which meant something at all like “experiences without desire to reciprocate”.

We didn’t find anything. I mean, anything close, not anything we could figure out how to twist around and make it mean what we wanted.

But, we’re both AFAB queers, one of us Stone, so we were familiar with Stone Butch sexuality.

For those of you who don’t know, Butch/Femme is sortof the Old Guard of lesbian sexuality (not to say butch/femme isn’t still a thing, but a particular type of butche/femme was historically the norm for lesbians), and Stone is a particular type of sexual expression. Someone who is Stone likes to provide sexual stimulation to a partner, but does not like to receive sexual stimulation themself.

This was the closest allegory that we could find, and we chose to call this in our naming of this romantic orientation." -Lithromantic Tumblr Blog, 2013[2]

It is unknown when exactly lithsexual was coined, but the term has been in usage since November 2013 with limited popularity.[3]

Due to controversy that 'lith' appropriates lesbian culture, Tumblr user cisphobeofficial proposed the prefix 'akoi', which derives from the Greek word 'koine' meaning common or shared.[4] Combined with a- and -romantic, it describes an individual who doesn’t experience shared romantic attraction.[5] However, the appropriation claims were reportedly mainly asserted by non-lesbians, and many stone lesbians have said not using lith- is more problematic as it can be perceived as lesbian erasure.[6] Nowadays, akoi- and lith- are used interchangeably by personal preference.

Related Terms

Label Relationship Description Difference
Fray- Similar Attraction that fades when an emotional bond is formed. Fray doesn't indicate whether the attraction was reciprocated, nor whether losing the attraction was caused by reciprocation.
Keep- Opposite Attraction exists until they are rejected. Keep can be considered an opposite of recipro.
Recipro- Opposite Attraction only exists when they are attracted to. Lith can be considered an opposite of recipro.

Orientations

Label Orientation Flag Creator(s)
Lithalterous/akoialterous Alterous [7] Pride-Flags
Lithplatonic/akoiplatonic Platonic [8] Pride-Flags
Lithqueerplatonic/akoiqueerplatonic Queerplatonic [9] Pride-Flags
Lithromantic/akoiromantic[2] Romantic [10] Lithromantic, thejasmineelf-blog
Lithsensual/akoisensual Sensual [11] Pride-Flags
Lithsexual/akoisexual Sexual [12] Pride-Flags

Sub Terms

Label Prefix/Suffix Description Flag Creator
Lithflux -flux describes an individual who either experiences attraction and only sometimes desires for it to be reciprocated or whose attraction fades once in a relationship but may come and go. Wavership[13]

Flags and Symbols

The lithromantic flag was designed sometime before April 17th, 2014, by Tumblr user thejasmineelf-blog, who hosted a contest for lith individuals to vote on the best flag. The red stripe represents community, the orange stripe represents 'lith-ness', the yellow stripe represents varied relationships, the white stripe represents romanticism and sexuality, and the black stripe represents aromanticism and asexuality.[10]

The alternate lithromantic flags were created by Pride-Flags.[14][15] The alternate lithsexual flag was created by Pride-Flags.[16]

Resources

  1. lithromantic. "ok, lithromantic sounds a lot like me, but". Tumblr, 2 Sep, 2016, https://web.archive.org/web/20230624215409/https://www.tumblr.com/lithromantic/149802209914/ok-lithromantic-sounds-a-lot-like-me-but-i-keep?source=share. Archived on 24 Jun, 2023.
  2. 2.0 2.1 lithromantic. "I understand the term Lithromantic and what it means". Tumblr, 15 Apr, 2013, https://web.archive.org/web/20230624214956/https://www.tumblr.com/lithromantic/48021635860/i-understand-the-term-lithromantic-and-what-it. Archived on 24 Jun, 2023.
  3. asexualadvice. "I'm wondering if I might be lithsexual.". Tumblr, 24 Nov, 2013, https://www.tumblr.com/asexualadvice/67859494012/im-wondering-if-i-might-be-lithsexual-i-most.
  4. Mufwene, Salikoko Sangol. "koine". Encyclopedia Britannica, 27 Mar. 2008, https://www.britannica.com/topic/koine-language. Accessed 24 August 2023.
  5. cisphobeofficial. "so, since lith is (potentially?) appropriative". Tumblr, 18 May, 2014, https://cisphobeofficial.tumblr.com/post/86169342734/so-since-lith-is-potentially-appropriative-of.
  6. aromanticaardvark. "i can't seem to find anyhting about why lithromantic is problematic?". Tumblr, 3rd Sep, 2014, https://www.tumblr.com/aromanticaardvark/96454743307/i-cant-seem-to-find-anyhting-about-why.
  7. Pride-Flags. "Akoialterous / Lithalterous". DeviantArt, 5 Sep, 2015, https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Akoialterous-Lithalterous-558308926.
  8. Pride-Flags. "Akoiplatonic / Lithplatonic / Akoineplatonic". DeviantArt, 30 Aug, 2015, https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Akoiplatonic-Lithplatonic-Akoineplatonic-557108735.
  9. Pride-Flags. "Akoiqueerplatonic / Lithqueerplatonic". DeviantArt, 27 Jun, 2016, https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Akoiqueerplatonic-Lithqueerplatonic-617764703.
  10. 10.0 10.1 lithromantic. "I actually got quite a few messages from lith people". Tumblr, 19 Apr, 2014, https://web.archive.org/web/20230624215711/https://www.tumblr.com/lithromantic/83139535401/thejasmineelf-i-actually-got-quite-a-few?source=share.
  11. Pride-Flags. "Akoisensual / Lithsensual". DeviantArt, 21 Jan, 2016, https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Akoisensual-Lithsensual-585726500.
  12. Pride-Flags. "Akoisexual / Lithsexual". DeviantArt, 28 Sep, 2015, https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Akoisexual-Lithsexual-562751792.
  13. https://web.archive.org/web/20210723135522/https://wavership.tumblr.com/post/182093554099/i-havent-seen-this-coined-yet-so Archived:July 23rd 2021. Accessed: May 25th 2024
  14. https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Akoiromantic-Lithromantic-561387256
  15. https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Lithromantic-Akoiromantic-606455151
  16. https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Akoi-Akoine-Akoin-Lith-2-617532661